Eh, it’s 4:50am and I should not be fucking awake. But yet again I’m up in the middle of the night with nightmares again after only just getting to sleep at midnight. I know the fact that I haven’t been using as much cannabis recently hasn’t helped, but I haven’t really budgeted my script out properly for the past month or two, leaving things to be up in the air when it comes to spacing out my medical cannabis. I’m gonna leave half at the pharmacy next time to pick up half way through the month of the script so I don’t end up savaging it early, I’m pretty sure the rosin carts will last if I get 6 of them as I’ve only ever got 4, and 40gs on top of that should surely hold me over for a month.
I don’t know what to say about these night episodes other than I’m fucking tired of them, I get to sleep for the longest of about 4-5hrs these days and I’m up again with this shit and it’s fucking up over half of my weeks sleep not even being related to pain as I usually take tramadol before bed so it’s never to bad. I ended up managing to find myself some tilomed tramadol from a connection I have and stocked up on them, figured it was the best thing to do since the doctor probably is going to continue not to prescribe even though my usage has been moderate and I think I was right to do so. Because tilomed is that much stronger, I feel I can half my use just because the brand is one that I seem to get on more with. My doctor tried saying she thinks it’s a placebo, but a placebo doesn’t actively make you take less of substance and stay at that threshold without changing pain levels, I’m not really of the belief of that. For some reason tilomed is 2-3x stronger than Somex or RelonChem tramadol for me, don’t ask me why but it seems to be the case. And I’ve not abused that fact either by sticking to the same amount, I’ve dropped my tramadol usage to cater to what I actually need to stay out of pain.
Hopefully I can get back to sleep soon before the shopping arrives early this morning but I doubt I’ll be able to, if my doctor ends up saying no during my appointment next week for prescribing going forward I’m considering trying nitrazepam for sleep as I’ve seen it’s supposedly one of the best sleeping aids there is. Being part of the benzos family I’d have to be careful stacking it with tramadol (or not rather, not stacking it with tramadol) but still feels like it’s worth a shot trying if I get turned down for prescribing. If anything, it would be counter intuitive not to prescribe me something to keep me on the straight and narrow rather than being able to think fuck it, and trying anything and everything to help with whatever symptoms I’m trying to treat. We’ll soon see next week I guess, but whatever happens I’m glad I stocked up on a brand of tramadol that actually works well for me.