After a shit ton of pain filled morning, I didn’t get as much done as I had anticipated but I got a food shop done, some light tidying as well as planning out my cannabis script for the next two months going forward. Ordering has become somewhat of a ballache since my clinic released their app which only lets you order what they have in stock and not what they don’t and would have to order in, so ordering has become a manual back and forth with emails ball ache which I don’t enjoy in the slightest so makes sense to do a two month script. Anything to do with medical cannabis brings back PTSD of all the police involvement, so I pretty much just want my meds and don’t want to have to think about the process. I decided for the next two months to get:
6x SRD Rosin Vape Carts
2x 10gs Sourdough
1x 10gs Dantez Inferno
1x 10gs Alaskan Thunder
Totaling £730 a month. Which seems like a lot but is a drop down from £850 an month when I’m just getting 100gs of straight flower, and the carts seem to help with breakthrough pain more than the bud does at the moment.
I’m curious if once I put the posts up regarding the police incidents about whether it will let up some on my PTSD, I don’t know why I ever thought I had a chance at getting retribution with A&S police after watching the documentary that had on them where they were abusive as fuck to people. Pepper spraying them with spit hoods on and dragging them out onto the pavement and not getting any type of discipline for it, I didn’t have a chance. But I can still do as much as I can to make the people who have wronged me uncomfortable, by telling the truth and making sure it’s indexed properly on search engines when searching their names for everyone to see. I pretty much have for everyone I’ve made a page for, except for the professor due to his existing search results in his name being more than anyone else I had posted about combined. But that isn’t discouraging me from getting his page to the first page of Google’s search results eventually, time will tell if I’ll get there but from what I’m seeing in Google search console it doesn’t seem impossible.
I’m gonna try and get the profile for my parents, as well as the police incident and profiles populated over the next day or two. The issue I have is overlapping between different people and the same incident, and I don’t want to just copy the story onto every page/profile so I’m thinking about adding a markdown code to include segments of a written up incident on peoples profile pages by doing something like
[profile:parent]
They told police that I was aggressive and unstable, which was not true.
[/profile]
[profile:officer-jones]
Officer Jones immediately raised his voice and blocked the doorway.
[/profile]
And then using this markdown code on the frontend public facing pages in blade syntax to include the segments when needed on whatever pages necessary.
{{ mentions "officer-jones" }}
Hopefully the PTSD will start easing up soon but just seems to be getting worse over time and rather quickly, I’m not sure if it’s the holidays or what but going to see that girl a couple of days ago was the only thing that let me get out of my own headspace for a while. I don’t want to have to think about these things daily but it doesn’t even seem to need ‘triggers’ to set me off at any point, I think of thee things from when I wake up till when I go to bed like being stuck in rotating revolving hell. The only thing the comes close is my therapy sessions, and I’m extremely grateful for having found a therapist that has practically became my adopted mum.
I’m gonna try set out some coding targets to get through today but won’t be to hard on myself if I can’t get them done, just something to work towards and might be a good idea to start doing daily. Hopefully by the next time I check in the pain has eased up some as well as the PTSD.